Tips for Getting Through Infidelity in Your Marriage


Infidelity is considered the ultimate betrayal in most relationships. Though it ranks right up there with the most hurtful things you can do to your partner, many couples are willing to work their way back to a healthy relationship. However, you shouldn't assume that your relationship will be free of problems now. Once a spouse has been cheated on, the relationship has been compromised, and there will be scars to show for it. Ultimately, though, you can still find a semblance of a happy relationship. The following tips could help to fix your relationship after cheating.

Explicit openness

Once infidelity has been discovered, both parties should be open and honest. The spouse who has been cheated on should be allowed to ask all the questions they would like to. They should also be allowed to articulate all their feelings of hurt and disappointment without the cheater making them feel guilty or inferior.

Shared responsibility

Understandably, this will be hard for the faithful partner. However, for infidelity to occur, the relationship must have already been in trouble. Thus, the two parties need to sit down and figure out what had already stopped working in their relationship and try to find a way to start fixing that.

Relationship rules and guidelines

After infidelity, you should draw up rules and boundaries to guide your relationship. Both parties should follow them, as this is aimed at regaining trust. An example of this could be setting a time that both parties should be home. It may sound like setting a curfew for a teenage child, but in the long run, it enables the spouse that has been cheated on to start believing in their partner. You may also want to consider exchanging passwords to social media accounts to ensure complete honesty.


Try to have some form of physical contact. The betrayed spouse may not be ready to jump into bed with the adulterer, but small gestures such as hand holding or even cuddling could go a long way in regaining that lost intimacy. The adulterer should also not push their spouse. Unnecessary pressure may lead the aggrieved spouse to start thinking that if they do not give in, they will be cheated on again, which would be counterproductive to rebuilding a fractured relationship.

Rediscover each other

Try to view your spouse like you once used to. Do not actively think of them as a cheater. Moreover, the adulterer should try to rediscover the spouse they fell in love with before they cheated on them. Start going on dates, as this may be the fire that your relationship needs. It may feel tentative at first, but remember, this is the person you fell in love with. With time, the companionship and comfort you felt for each other could be rekindled.

For additional assistance and advice during this difficult time, contact a marriage counsellor in your area.


30 May 2017

Dealing with Difficult Feelings

Hello, my name is Gary and this is my counselling blog. When I was a boy, my dad was very strict with me. Whenever I got upset, he would tell me not to worry and to keep a stiff upper lip. Any expression of emotion was frowned upon within the household. As a result of this, I never really learnt the skills I needed to properly deal with my emotions. As I got older, I started to drink more and more in order to deal with my feelings of sadness and rage. My friend became worried about me and suggested that I visit a counsellor. It was one the best things I ever did. Talking with someone I trust has really helped me to open up and explore my feelings.